lightning in a bottle…
Posted by jaked | Filed under mpd, support update
i want to talk to you a little about motivation, focus, distraction, and why it is we do the things we do.
you may or may not know this about me but i, in some ways, lead a double life. in one life i am jake demaray, aspiring missionary for life, currently raising support in order to share what has had such a significant impact on my life with the world’s college students. (as well as everybody else) my other life consists of jake, employee 1036, over worked, under appreciated, and under paid, making tasty food for folks to enjoy.
you’re probably asking in your head, ‘jake that’s not two different lives, that’s just two different jobs.’ and i would reply, ‘you didn’t actually ask anything.’ and then i would continue, ‘well yeah, that’s true.’
why do i describe myself as one living two separate lives? why aren’t they connected? and what in the world does this have to do with lightning, motivation, and that other garbage i started this with?
well for your answer let me describe my two different lives starting with the second one. i work at a place that serves good food. i’m a cook and like most of the things i work, i do alot of the behind the scenes things at the dining institution. i dice, slice, mix, cook, grill, and mash for about 20 hours a week. (on a good week) i work with some interesting people but most of the stuff that i do i have to do solo. the work is pretty repetitious but when i’m done i always have something to show for my work… even if its covered in charcoal…
my other ‘job’ (i think i would call it a passion maybe) is working with a christian ministry that has had a SIGNIFICANT impact on my life. i’ve had the opportunity to do an internship with them and am now currently in the process of raising support to work with the ministry forever and ever and ever. it is a considerably different beast than my other more temporary line of work. it’s a job centered around people, and i would say most (if not all) of what i get to do, the results are completely out of my hands.
so now you may see where that blurb about motive, focus, etc. comes in. sometimes it is really REALLY hard to be motivated to keep pressing towards something that doesn’t seem to be getting any closer. to be swinging at something but not to know if you’re hitting it. to be… ok you probably get it by now.
i don’t think i’ve ever done anything as challenging or frustrating or rewarding as this process of raising support, nothing has kept me up at night quite like this process has, and i don’t think i’ve ever worked on something so hard with seeing so little result.
when it comes to chopping an onion or grilling the perfect steak, i know that the level of effort that i put into it is going to show the most fruit… but that’s the thing about this other line of work; staying motivated, active, pressing toward the prize, it’s hard to do when you have to leave the results up to God. and when you do see Him show up and do something amazing and you experience His hand you want moments like that to last forever. it’s like trying to catch lightning in a bottle.
trying to find that delicate balance between killing yourself to see a result and relying fully on the one who’s in control… now that’s tough.
what about you? what do you do to keep yourself motivated when you aren’t seeing any of the results that you’re really pushing for?
currently listening to:
what happened by dog & panther
ps check out this cool video by these guys.
Making Giant Hands from Sigmon & Lawes on Vimeo.
monthly update #1
Posted by jaked | Filed under monthly update, mpd
here’s the first montly update for support partners that will hopefuly go out tomorrow. click on them to make them bigger/readable. questions, comments… let me know.
currently listening to:
straylight run – about time ep
cue the dramatic music?
Posted by jaked | Filed under billings, mpd, new chapter, support update
It’s been a really long time since i’ve really wrote anything here of real meaning. i’ve gotten to post some pictures and what not but as far as substance… not so much. so here’s my feeble efforts of being (somewhat) serious in what’s been going on.
well i’m about half-way through the time i have to raise support for my year at montana state. as it stands right now i’m at 15%. not exactly where i’m supposed to be at this point but hey if God can part seas, keep the sun from setting, and providing food through birds this is seriously nothing. despite that it’s been really tough to preserver with a real lack of momentum. and it’s not just support stuff that’s been rough. in the last two weeks i’ve had the privilege to destroy both my cell phone and ipod as well as came close to losing my car. in the saying that the Lord givith and taketh away, he’s really been in the taketh away mood lately. so that’s really been my prayer lately, that God would start to give this process some serious momentum.
recently, (last night) thanks to a man who’s been a phenomenal encouragement to me gave me a link to a talk by dr. david jeremiah entitled “when you are in a hurry and God isn’t.” one of the things that really stood out to me is when he talked about patience being the same thing as endurance.
“no matter what kind of shape you are in if you push yourself to the limit you will come to the place where you hit ‘the wall.’ that means you come to the place where your mind and your body begin to argue with one another. your mind says ‘i can’t do this anymore!’ and your body starts to agree. but because you are determined you just keep putting one foot infront of the other until you come to the point where you break through the wall. and you get a new burst of energy and you get what they call the ‘second wind’ and with the second wind you get a new burst of energy even greater then you had at the beginning…”
i feel like this is the part of the story where the plot is supposed to really take a turn. where things start going right for our hero… where the second wind really kicks in. because Lord knows i’ve hit the wall. i’ve hit the wall, backed up and ran into it even harder only to be knocked on my butt again. so here i am back in billings hoping and praying for God to show up in this last month and a half. i’ve got 85% to go and not alot of phone numbers to call. so please be in prayer. thanks and hopefully i’ll be able to do this a little more often and so they won’t be so long. and in everything let God’s will be done.
listening to:
emery – …in shallow seas we sail
